Emotional intelligence is having a good connection between the heart and the mind. It is a good connection between emotional vibration, knowledge and logic. To be emotionally intelligent means that you can intuitively navigate the energy that is created by emotions to a movement which is effective for you and other people around you.
You may find yourself thinking about some past event that you reacted with emotions in a very ineffective way. Then you wonder where your mind was. Sometimes this insight or realization may come after a few minutes, a few days, a few months or even a few years. Therefore, if you do not know how to manage or navigate your emotional power, you are doing a great injustice to yourself. This is because you are an emotional being. Emotional intelligence means that in the real time you can respond to the happenings in the environment with your brain, emotions and senses.
Every human being has IQ, intellectual qualities (quotient), which means that you can collect the information and navigate the information into several logical patterns. FQ are the physical conditions of the body (including five senses) that a person uses to collect information through the senses. Therefore, if the FQ of the person doesn’t work well, the person can’t upgrade himself easily. It becomes more difficult.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to use the emotional energy to act. It is emotional quality; the ability to use the emotional energy to create action for the benefit of people. If we use an analogy of a stool (simple 3 legged seat), we are talking about the three legs of the stool. Some people have long legs, meaning that they have a large IQ, they have a large FQ and they have a large EQ, emotional quality (quotient). This means that their performance in the world is much easier, joyful, and successful. There are people with short legs of the stool. That is, they do not have too much of IQ, they do not have too much FQ neither do they have too much EQ. But they still have a stool and they can sit on it. They are balanced people and since they have a stool some of them, like some politicians, stand on the stool and they look like they are very intelligent people. They do not explain it and they seem balanced.
In this world, it is easier to manage with a balanced personality and body. The problem lies with the people who have long stool legs in IQ and FQ but have a short undeveloped or unstable stool leg in their EQ. These people are unbalanced and therefore their performance in the world is not successful. If somebody has long legs of their stool, it is easier for them to be balanced. People, who have much longer legs of IQ and FQ, need to put much more effort in developing their EQ to ensure they are more balanced and become more successful in their world.
In the modern society, everyone can develop his IQ. It is very easy to collect information from the internet, schools, parents, friends, TV, movies and books. It is easy to have a strong body because there is a lot of information about how to create physical qualities including the five senses and there is also a lot of available knowledge on how to develop physical qualities. However, nowadays we are aware that we need emotional intelligence. Developing the emotional intelligence is still the mystery.
With trust4emotions we are breaking the mystery. We enable a person to use online self improvement or emotional intelligent program to develop himself with no obstacles of emotional control from other people. This approach shows that doing a good development job or self improvement job online is much more effective than other different processes like workshop and personal coaching.
I AM PERFECT’ this is a great statement. There are different definitions about the word perfect. Some people wants to be perfect, but they can't. Some people say: it is only God who can be perfect and that you can never be perfect.
An emotional intelligent declaration is that “Everybody is perfect.” The moment one declares it, he becomes perfect because he feels perfect. And at this moment is the best moment of what he can do. It is the best time and the best capacity to use all the resources available. The person has to move his life in the best way. And maybe in 5 min, he will say some of it was a mistake or all of it was a mistake. But the moment he used all his resources to be in his best; means he was emotionally intelligent. The resources are physical body, intellectual body and emotional body. He used all of them in best way at the environment that was created around him. He didn’t create the entire environment. He can create his environment but not when other people are involved. So previously, that was the best in this environment that I could create. Emotional Intelligent people have permission to feel perfect and to say after 10 years or 5 minutes that it was a mistake in being perfect in this way.
At the present, we have behind us the past. The past includes many events that have happened in different environments. The more years you have lived in this planet, the more information you collect in your intellect, in your physical body and in your emotional nervous system. Some of those events were wonderful and some of those events were bad. You can choose to look at the past and only see the bad things, remember them and exaggerate them. You can also choose to only remember the good things, be excited and enjoy their memories. Neither of these choices is emotionally intelligent. This is because to only remember the bad past will put heaviness on your body. To remember only the good things will put ignorance on the cautious information that you have to remember to avoid repeating the same mistake. Emotional intelligent persons, during the coaching, will look at the past with the good things and the bad things that happened to them. They try to exaggerate the good things and make the bad things look smaller. You still have to remember everything. You do not have to remember them like a test or an exam, but you have from time to time, know what kind of life you had. This is the basis which supports your present to be satisfied with yourself. Session three of the exercises does this work. It wraps the past in a healthier condition so that you can use it as a supporting system for your present.
For the present, you need to have a clean past. Clean means well emotionally intelligent wrecked past then you can live your present much better. Therefore, the emotions from the past cannot influence your present. So you can feel your present in the highest intensity with your five senses. You collect the information from the five senses. You use your knowledge from the past (your IQ). You use your body 5 senses, you use your IQ your knowledge and your logic in the present and then you use your emotional energy. You know what you feel. The biggest ignorance is that people do not know what they feel at the present. The emotions are fogging their senses and fogging their intellect. At the moment that you are more and more emotionally intelligent, it is possible to see, to sense and to experience the present better. That is the moment you are creating your future. Every moment we are creating our future. We know what has been in the past but we never can know what will be in the future. The person, who only remembers the bad things from the past, believes something wrong will happen to his future. But we do not know the future. So we can create it in the present as a quality future. That does not mean that bad things will not happen. But since we are much more aware of our capacity in the present we can take advantage of the present situation to do better intuitively to better the future. It is not smart or emotionally intelligent; it is a cheeky behavior not to think that the future will be positive. We as emotionally intelligent persons can create our future and can avoid the traumas. And when the trauma is happening we can give it the correct emotional intelligent interpretation, like we did in our past task.
It is important to be honest in the clearout. That is the only place that you can teach yourself honesty. This way you create self confidence. When you are lying to yourself, nobody can notice it; it is only you who can know the truth. So if you are lying to yourself it means you can’t trust yourself. You do not have yourself and therefore your self-confidence sucks. That is why this is a completely new different approach to emotional intelligence. The statement “fake it till you make it” is a good statement but you only fake it when you are creating your future. This is a different way to speak about future that you see the future bright and shiny but if you’re faking about your present then you are losing your confidence. If someone is shouting on you and you just say it is alright, then you are cheating yourself. This person is insulting you on purpose and do not cheat yourself in the clearout. Being honest is the only way to create real self confidence.
"I want to be rich and famous”. So many people are saying that they are creating their futures to be rich and famous. This statement is actually what somebody said. Many people have taught each other to say it again and again that it will happen. And actually, this is a poor wrong assumption. Most people do not know what they ask for. It is a completely spiritual wish which is not connected to the body, with the inside of the body. It is just the outside of the body. People who say,” I want to be rich and famous”, don’t explain to themselves the meaning of being rich.
For one person having $5 can mean riches. For another person, $5 is not kind of money he pays attention to, neither is losing $5 million a big loss for them. To be rich is not always to be famous. This is because many rich people try not to be famous. They try to hide their money and their ability to use the money. It has no relationship with being happy. Different people have different possibilities, different resources and different desires. If only you can make a special definition of “What is the better future you want for yourself?” The safest statement is to say to the future that”I want to have the best life I deserve.” It is then that you have to make a specific definition of what you are not happy about at the present moment and what will make you be happier and from your personal resources and your environmental resources. You therefore can create something that you understand that you deserve. This is taking responsibility for your future from deep within yourself, from the inside.
There is nothing wrong with being a lonely identity. In fact, this is a very good time to develop yourself, understand yourself while making good contact with other people. The aim of this period of lonely identity is to allow you to concentrate on yourself and understand yourself better. This period also allows you to make a better connection between your brain and your emotional bitterness (marar) or deep emotions.
When you are developing yourself it is better not to be involved in closed relationship with only one person but many people. The intimate environment is always between 3-7 people. Sometimes people have intimate environment with even 100 people. It is possible, but having so many people in your intimate environment will lead to lack of deep intimacy in the relationships.
Therefore, do not fear being a lonely identity. It is only you who knows whether it is healthy or unhealthy being by yourself. You must create a space where you are not intimidated by the unknown environment.
The unknown environment is the best environment to create new possibilities and new expansions. Without new expansion, you are reducing and killing yourself either emotionally, physically or mentally. Mentally, I mean, increasing your brain capacity to kill yourself.
The basic statement is that emotions are energy. And this energy has influence on our brain and our physical body. So if we can use this energy in an intelligent way, we can move the brain and the body better. But if we are using our emotions in a not so intelligent way, then this energy confuses the brain and the physical body. Many Athletes are very good in the preparation process but because of their strong emotions, they cannot use them in an intelligent way and they fail in the competition. Many athletes are not so good at the preparation process but they are very successful at the competition. Those are emotional intelligent people because they can use the emotions of excitement of the competition for their physical body. The same thing happens with the intellectual qualities. Intellectual quality is the capacity to collect the information to our brain and to remember this information and to have a logical pattern on how to use it. If we have a lot of logical patterns and a lot of information, we develop a high IQ. But we can have a high IQ but we cannot use it when our emotions are confusing our knowledge. So at the time of the test when we need our brain, knowledge and logical patterns, emotions may confuse it. This means in a long duration we lose our confidence. We do not use the capacity we have. When we lose our confidence, we disconnect the link between the capacity of how to use our knowledge at the proper time and in a proper way.
So when we are doing emotional clearout, we are mixing and practicing how to use our emotions in a logical way. The clearout actually translates the energy of emotions to become words. We give the emotion a name. This way we are able to manage it. It is therefore not something that runs in the body, it is something we know and can describe. For example we can feel powerful, confused or envious, this mean we know exactly what is going on in the body. So when we are giving a name to the emotion, it is like catching the emotional energy. When we give intensity to the same emotion, it is like evaluating the power of the emotion. When we are finding the cause that created this emotion, it is like giving a logical explanation to this emotion so that we know much better what we feel and why we feel that way. When we are evaluating if the emotion came from the present or the past, we are completely communicating to the emotional energy. The more the person does emotional clearouts (real clearout and not just a technical work or chore), the stronger the person develops a connection between his power and physical body and also between his emotional power and intellectual qualities.
There are few factors which are the same but have differed expectations to what emotions are sensed by different genders. As a rule we cannot guess each individual’s emotions. Each individual has different emotions in every different situation. Exceptionally, we can guess that different cultures and gender group will have similar emotions in similar situations. Every language has hundreds of words to describe emotions. Humans use these words to describe what they feel since the emotions are very subjective. For example: In my first visit to Paris, I spent half an hour starring and arguing with my French friend about the Mona Lisa Painting. We were agemates and had similar education. We had no misunderstandings about the facts: Artist – Leonardo da Vinci; year c.1503-1519; type Oil on poplar; Dimensions – 77 cm x 53 cm (30 in x 21 in); Location–musedu Louvre, Paris. The dispute started because I wanted to stay more and he wanted to go further. With the help of emotional intelligence after few years we share our emotions, I felt I was amused by the beauty, qualified to know the quality of this art, respectful to be in Louvre, gratitude to my husband who encouraged me to do this trip, endurance to my friend who was nagging me to go to the coffee shop. My friend confessed after years that he was frustrated by Leonardo de Vinci art, he liked Salvador Dally. He was bored and gloomy because he couldn’t share his emotions. He then became angry because he forcing himself to become hypocritical. Our friendship ended near the Mona Lisa painting for many years.
The When I look at the Mona Lisa painting, my emotional reaction on this painting will be according to the European culture and my education. There are men with the same culture and the same education who will feel the same emotions as me when they looking on Mona Lisa. If some men or women will feel the same about this painting, then their intensities will be different. It will be very rare to have the same emotions with the same intensity and the same cause when all of us are looking at the same Mona Lisa painting. Without the cultural factors, the gender emotions will be different by looking on the beauty of Mona lisa. But I am sure that a person who is coming from an undeveloped culture or country and never knew what kind of painting, will have completely different emotions about the painting. I am sure there will be a difference between the emotions that a man or a woman will feel about the same painting. But I am sure as well some women will feel the same emotions as a male and vice versa. This is the definition of cultural and gender difference.
An example: 20 years ago when I was watching Chip and Dale’s performance I was very unique went to see it and it was fun. Last week, I saw animation of a stripping handsome guy on Opera house. The movement of the animation was made by energy created by 20 excited females riding fixed bicycles. I could see, from their body language that all those women had feelings like curiosity then it moved to challenge then moved to excitement then moves to (other feeling I will add later). It was a demonstration of how free those women were culturally, that in a completely public place to show their excitement about a physical handsome body trying to seduce their sexual excitement. At the crowd, there were also some guys, who were occasionally on the streets or probably the partners of the females who were running the bicycles. They were excited exactly like those females on the bicycles which are running the energy and giving the animation of a sexy guy dancing and stripping on the opera façade house.
How can I know if I am taking a good direction going out of my crossroads or if I am in a good direction creating a future in each one of the programs?
The only way you can know this is by using intuition. If you are developing your intuition with emotional intelligence, it means that you have the proper connection between your intellectual knowledge qualities, emotional qualities and body qualities. This will show you the harmony between them and therefore create a successful movement when you are taking the decision with your intuition. If you are taking a decision and you can feel there is some harmony between those intelligences; physical, emotional and intellectual, and you think you have harmony, or you think you are making a good decision in choosing a good direction with your intuition, and unfortunately it does not bring the success that you feel it is a success; then you are going in a wrong direction. You have to dig in consider where you are making mistakes. This is because if you have good intuition, it has to bring the success you deserve.
An example; if you take the direction of becoming a successful businessman, and you see that all the connections in some point that you are taking decision to go in a certain way with the business and everything that you are doing does not succeed. It maybe that you are sabotaging yourself in your way of success. This is like when you buy a new car and it does not work well, you rent a new office and the office is not in a good location. Maybe it has some unexpected damage. You hired wonderful workers and suddenly they are ill or a disaster happened in their family and they cannot do their jobs. This means that the direction you took was not the right direction. You have to stop it and choose another direction. To fix your ability to move in different direction with your intuition means doing a lot of clearouts in the unsuccessful points that you found last time. Check your wrong and new active assumptions. Check what from the past is sabotaging your present and your future and go for a new way. The only important thing is to remember that you have the tool and the courage with clearouts and with this program to continue with a lot of energy and not to be intimidated, frightened, hopeless because of the wrong direction. This is the place where with good clearouts you create wonderful energy to choose a better way and to go further in your life to create better future for your life.
Speaking about change, we human beings change all the time; positively - for our own sake, negatively – a subconscious self-destruction. T4E method helps you stop the subconscious self-destruction process. You will learn to think differently. You will start evaluating your emotions and discover that they are your main energy generator. The method will teach you how to act and respond in your present and create your future positively - for your own sake and for the sake of the people around you. According to T4E method, you will learn how to respond to your inside body differently compared to your outside reality. When you see the benefits from your new way of response, you assimilate this method and it becomes your new happy life.
Recently, Ira, from “Create the Best Body You Deserve”, contacted me through LinkedIn. She was grateful for her 6-years-ago-coaching. She shared her joy and gratitude for accomplishing her PhD. She was also proud to announce that she is now excellent in PP presentations and that she enjoys them. Her declaration was: I learned a lot from you!
Training self-integrity– is the core part when starting your emotional intelligence training. The ability to connect to your guts feelings, to figure out what emotions and in what intensity they appear in your body in different situations is not an easy task. Usually, people are not aware about what they feel. They block or deny their emotions.People rely on others to know better what is good for them.
People who are practicing emotional intelligence are in the expansion process. They upgrade their quality of integrity. They create a new ability of making a decision using their gut feelings. They still listen to others to have more information but the act of deciding is connected to their gut feelings or to their intuition. People, who listen and believe the authorities, toil to themselves the positive or negative thinking hence losing their self-confidence. Practicing Trust4emotionS inbounds self- integrity and improves their intuition. They will not waste time on things that do not help them go forward towards their goals. People can lose their connections with their aims because of dominant authorities. This is when they want to be like the authority and they lose their own uniqueness. They cooperate with the authority so that it can help them to be like the authority itself and not who they can become themselves.
The other side is that you have this time, 24 hours a day. This is 24 hours to take care of your body, emotions and financial prosperity. An emotional intelligent person dedicates his time to these three directions. Going according authority instructions, wasting time on the authority or with things that do not have any connection with his guts feelings will ensure you do not achieve his aim.
If the authority is demanding that you to obey their behavior, you have to find an emotionally intelligent way not to fight back. Fighting the authority is not the proper way to handle this because this is what is happening around. Fighting is wasting time and energy. Losers are fighting. Winners go forward concentrated on their directions, their aims and their targets. A developed intuition develops good connection with your calibrated intuition. This is the best decision maker. If you have a developed integrity then you become a successful decision maker. If not, it is just a waste of energy and time.
The answer is: upgrade your intuition by better understanding your gut feelings with T4E programs. The calibrated intuition will help you with what part of authority information you need for achieving your goals. But you have to make decisions using your gut feelings!
Around emotionally intelligent EQ Person, there are endless amount of people. All of them are an opportunity to make an EQ person’s life exciting. EQ person manages his relationships to create a win-win situation for himself and those around him. To make it clear and easy for an EQ Person to organize his relationships, we spread the entire world individuals into 3 different environments:
The EQ Person is in the Centre. Around him, there are between three to seven people who have an emotionally mutual commitment (a guarantee between two people) for emotional balance with him. An EQ Person will listen to his intimate environment with all the emotions. He will know how much he needs and how much he wants to express. This gives the EQ Person the freedom to share his emotions as well.
The intimate environment is like a shield – because an EQ Person trusts that the intimate environment will never judge him and always will support him emotionally.The Intimate Environment is like a –An EQ Person feels free and safe to seed new ideas. In the Intimate environment, one can listen to his own ideas and re-evaluate them.
Intimate Environment is safe – because EQ Person knows the intimate environment will never use his secrets for any reason.
How many people does an EQ Person need in the intimate environment? -Between 3 and 7 people. In the intimate environment people share their heavy and light emotions. The same way they develop the capacity to see in every situation the benefits and heaviness of it. So they share with their intimate environment and they practice to listen to the emotions of other people. The number of people an EQ person needs depend on his capacity to nourish this kind of relationship. It is worthy to create those relationships because it takes time and emotional strain and flexibility. A Busy EQ Person looks for the intimate environment people who do not speak a lot and define their emotions easily.
How do you create an intimate environment? Look around carefully and then encourage the people you are interested in to share their emotions. If you want to share your emotions with other people then you have to listen to their emotions first. To most people, it is difficult to listen to other people’s emotions and they don’t know how to express their emotions, therefore, they do not have the possibility to share the emotions. The ability to have intimate environment is a developed ability. The emotional sharing process has to be more or less equal. If it does not work easy then it might not work at all. So just practice this new ability to listen to other people’s emotions and share your emotions with the people that you choose. You have to know who your intimate environment is and create a situation of sharing emotions. You can always change the relationship with the intimate person, and move this intimate person to a frequent environment.
This is composed of are people whom we recognize just when we see them; we know something about them because we had earlier met them once or hundred times in the past. We experience good or bad agreements with these people. If the agreement is good, then it becomes a mutual profound relationship. If you as an EQ Person with the frequent environment person and you guess that this person is not happy with the agreement, using your EQ, you have to check what is going on with him and find a win-win agreement with this person. It is your responsibility as an EQ Person to fix the relationship. You can never really know what kind of damages these people from frequent environment can do if you are numb to their unsatisfied agreements with you. In the frequent environment are people who are giving us services, selling us products, our neighbors, some of our friends, mainly people who belong to the work environment. It is very important to create a win-win business situation with these people and become aware that if they are not satisfied with some agreement, we have to clean this ASAP.
The Endless Unknown Environment
Most of the population in this world is categorized in the unknown environments. More than 6 trillion people are a population of this world. You will never meet most of them. You meet and forget some of them. You meet some of them for the first time and you never want to meet them again in your life. Therefore they remain in your unknown environment. So this endless unknown environment also has the best opportunity for you to create new work, new love, new adventure, and new creative relationships. All the new opportunities are hiding somewhere in the unknown environment. So it is important for an EQ Person to develop the intuition to feel the person that you want to meet and to reduce your distance from him, making him closer to you and moving him from an unknown environment to the frequent environment for mutual benefits. It is very important to be cautious in the unknown environment. Do not invite people to intimate environment before checking whether he is a good partner for the frequent environment. Before you move him to the intimate environment you have to check if it is easy to make agreements with him. If the agreement is complicated, and it is easy to have frustrating relationships, probably you have to move this person from frequent environment, back to unknown. In the unknown environment, we need to be very positive thinkers. We usually do not share heavy emotions with people we meet for the first time or give them opportunity to show themselves at the best way. This means we have to listen to them to be able to decide using our active intuition to know whether we want them in our frequent environment or we want to save our time and go on to another person in unknown environment.
In session 1, you take the first set of steps towards learning a new way of evaluating your behavior in your everyday life at a specific subject you choose. You will have less judgment and more ability to check and mentally verbalize your emotions about any given situation. This is a completely different way of thinking in real time. By thinking like this, you become much more effective and intuitively better with your responses to fragile situations, since your ability to access your internal wisdom and use your intuition has been sharpened through practice. It increases your ability to concentrate, and allows you to bring greatly increased effectiveness to a situation in the present. As your emotional intelligence musculature grows, you will gain self-confidence and satisfaction in any subject you choose.
The next step is being ready to start slowly but surely the sharing of your emotions with others in an intelligent way. This is called Mutual Wisdom. There you will use your Mutual Intuition. During T4E practice, you upgrade this intuition. In common language, people call this “feeling other people”. But this implies guessing. We have to be careful about guessing emotions of people around as. We might develop good intuition in intimate environment, but not in the frequent environment! In the frequent environment, even a right guess or intuition can be perceived as rude ignorance or manipulation. If you want to understand other people’s feelings in the frequent environment, then you have to ask: “what do you feel about this?” and really listen to the emotional answer – usually people don’t know what they feel. This can be particularly true during emotionally difficult moments.
When other person is in the eye of his emotional storm, he becomes confused. You can use your new emotional vocabulary and listening skills to help. “I want to understand what you actually feel now. How are you feeling right now? Are you angry? Insulted? Afraid?” You can use words from the light and heavy emotions list and gain better response using your mutual wisdom.
Exercise 4 in every program, currently practicing helps you let go of the past emotions that have influenced your present behavior. The emotional release of your storms from the past, make for the ability to upgrade and absorb the reality in an emotionally fragile situation. You will be able to use your senses, your collected information and your logic in a better way.
Intuition is the best decision maker! This is the simplest way to respond to reality. It is not by using your brain data base of your knowledge or your logic patterns, but by using your heart’s gut feelings whatever the case. And this organ is never tired. It’s quick, simple and exiting.
The heavy part of using intuition to create the future is: if you have an Intuition but don’t trust it, it means you do not use it. After you take a decision contrary to your intuition you later regret. Or if you use a Distorted Intuition, the results are failure. But when you have and use your Active Intuition, you feel like a winner and you are a winner because you do not waste time or energy to solve your problems. You just know the solution!!
Active intuition is an inborn quality which is contradicted or distorted by culture. By practicing EQ you can acquire and upgrade it!
Using your active intuition involves behaving according your internal wisdom and understanding the reality by not judging who is right and who is wrong at the present situation. It involves checking what emotions appear at the present situation which activates the intuition in an effective way. You have to concentrate on what you feel at this moment in this situation. Exercise by emotional C-O improves the Activated Intuition. When you use the Active Intuition you feel self satisfied, proud, honored and happy with the decision for a long time.
The Disrupted intuition happens when you respond to the reality according your gut feelings but you are not happy for the results. This means you are not emotionally intelligent yet. There are different parts in your emotional formation which has been calibrated
There is a scale between Active/Disrupted Intuitions. |Emotional quality training reduces the disrupted intuition results.
An Emotional Intelligent person creates his future, increases his Active Intuition and diminishes his Disrupted Intuition in the present
I recommend doing the first and the second exercise simultaneously and repeatedly. The best results come from practicing both exercises, making corrections as new understandings come in, and then doing them again and again until you get the best results you deserve now.
Exercise number 3 should be done separately. When you finish it then you can proceed to exercise 4 and 5 or else the system will not allow you to move on.
We recommend that you clear every exercise if you feel it is not relevant any more. It is good to start afresh. Deleting one exercise will not affect the other exercise. But if you delete exercise 3, exercise 4 and 5 will be deleted automatically.
It is very important to accomplish all the 5 exercises. 50% of the first team that tested different programs, finished a program in12 hours. It is recommended that you look on the clock when you start working on an exercise and continue only for one hour. You should not exercise for more than 2 hours a day.
You can use the exercises for a period of 6 months. You can prolong the use of any program by paying 10% of the fee you paid for the program for the next 3 months. But if you won’t pay, the permission of checking the contents of the program will still be available to you forever, only that you will be not able to make changes in the exercises. Better yet, you can still buy a whole new program of the same contents.
After you are finished with one program, you will know intuitively when again you need to upgrade your emotional intelligence and in which specific program. Some people upgrade their emotional intelligence in 3 different programs simultaneously. If you feel confused, we are here to help you with feedback or with a live Skype coaching.
First, there is generous, attentive listening. The generosity is the most important thing, because it is listening without judgment. Patience is required – you really have to be sure that the other person has completely finished his emotional expression. It’s very important to listen in the workplace, but be very aware of the time it is taking. We are not psychologists. I personally will dedicate more time to listen to people who are my superiors, because they are paying for my time. It is human to listen to each other, but take responsibility for the time it is taking to listen to those who are peers or who are below you in the organization. Do not pretend you are listening. It is an abusive behavior!
Then there is active listening. Active listening is a smart and effective way to get all the details right in the frequent environment. The most important thing about active listening is that you should ask questions to the person you’re talking with. This is to ensure you understand and to let them know you are really interested in their information.
When you want to go deeper with your relationship you have to ask your partner what they feel about it. If he denies his emotion, then you can gently insinuate the emotions you guess he feels. Very gentle! Emotions are a very private and are secret part of the soul. So you have to wait until the soul is free to share!!!
When you ask a question like this, then you have to really and truly listen to the answer. If you want to share your emotions with others, first you have to listen to their emotions to encourage them to feel safe to share with you. Exercise 2 gives you tools to test your listening skills, and to see wrong assumptions that you may have that influence your listening abilities. Once people around you gain confidence that you really and truly want to listen to their feelings, then you will have permission to share your feelings as well.
This is the safest way to real intimacy.
This way you create the intimate environment.
Lastly there is ignorant listening. This is an ugly, emotionally manipulative way to listen. Ignorant listening is easy to identify – we’ve all spoken to people whose body language, and involvement in other tasks as they talked, made it clear that they were not really listening to us. As an emotionally intelligent person, you are obliged not to cooperate with this kind of listening. You have to respond in a fun and emotionally intelligent way to stop ignorant listening. By that you show your EQ awareness, self-respect and respect for the other person’s time.
How much sex does your body need? You have to develop a good intuition to give yourself the best answer. Actually nobody really knows unless he checks it. Sex is very important to the human body, mind and emotional stability. Some people have sex as a part of a young people cultural obligation. They experience sex or gender emotions of either more masculine or more feminine. Some people have sex as a way of escaping from being old, so they have sex with young people. The younger partner feels smarter and worthy while the older partner feels rejuvenated and fresh. Some people have sex because they need a human nourishing touch. By this human touch, they experience the beloved emotion. To feel beloved by human touch is a very unique feeling. Many people nowadays are hugging each other. When Bill Clinton, the former US president, walked through to his nomination, he hugged people on the streets. This was very powerful experience. The symbol of this touch was: Partnership Generates Potency
But all those sexual interactions I have mentioned above are not sex emotions. They simply are not sexual.
Sex is about the body.Using the 5 senses, we disconnect with any cultural values and beliefs . We then devote to experience the other body simply with self-awareness of very subjective emotions. When the eyes see the other and say yes I want to see more when the ears hear the other and say yes I want to hear more, when the nose smells the other and says yes I want to smell more, when the skin rubs the other and says yes I want to rub more, or when the tongue tastes the other and saysyes I want to taste more. It becomes a pure sexual experience.
EQ people experience sex emotions using the brain to shutdown the cultural generalizations. The brain guards the mind not to interfere in the pure sexual interaction. We as human beings have different and unique sexual needs. Some people do not need sex and can do without sex. Some people need a lot of sex but do not know how to have it. They are shooting themselves because their culture is judging them for being sexual or not sexual, depending on the culture. This creates more obstacles around sex. My recommendation is to figure out if your 5 senses are available at that present moment without brain influence. Then check how much sex you want and with whom you want to have sex with. Take it gently with your body, very cautious. When you develop 5 senses body awareness, you will have a profound sexual life. Whether the sex activities are with one partner, with more than one partner, or with no partner at all to fell sexual is healthy. It needs emotional intelligence and self-integrity training and to achieve high quality EQ sexual life. You need to know that sexual energy can destroy you or disturb you. But if you will manage it in an emotionally intelligent way, it can help you create the pure energy for you and the people you love
For people in the same culture, some parts of reality are objective. For example in the middle of the desert, a pilot throws a coca cola bottle having in his mind the fact that this is a glass from a very popular company and their brand is written with different colors. For African kid who was a witness of pilot’s action on the bottle, he will see it as a miracle subject sent by super power. He has never before seen glass or touched a transparent, odorless object. The glass bottle is a completely different touch for his 5 senses. It is a completely unknown subject, so the assumption is: he feels subjective emotions like worship, sacred, spirituality.
For people in modern society, the same coca cola bottle has the same objective effect: it is made from glass, and it is a popular drink. We will not argue about facts like it is made from glass or it is from a popular company or that everybody knows the name and the color on the advertisement of the Coca-Cola brand. The difference is in the emotions that the coca cola brings in different people’s nervous system. We can have completely opposite emotions to the same facts. From one side the emotions will be very heavy because it is disgusting, dangerous or fake. And from the other side it is exciting, stimulating or sexy.
So this is the difference. We see the reality at the cultural possibility which is known or unknown objective facts. But we sense completely different. This is objective reality and we have to distinguish between the facts and the emotions that we feel. We have to respect other people’s subjective emotions even when they are completely negative from our emotions.
There are people who will say: “that’s just who I am! Those things you call ‘wrong assumptions’ are parts of my personality! You have to accept me this way!” These people do not want to make any change; they do not believe they can. They ignore the axiom that – humanity is changing and a person who is not changing for the better is changing for worse! You chose this program because you want that better change. You are inviting it into your life. In exercise 2, I give you the tools to upgrade your behavior through emotional relief from disorderly, ineffective and wrong assumptions into active assumptions which will relieve your tension and upgrade your success at the workplace.
So what are active, basic assumptions? They are like a mantra or an affirmation which you create to replace the old, wrong assumptions which you earlier programmed in your past. Perhaps those assumptions were the best ones you could create at that time while in the middle of an emotional storm; perhaps you adopted another person’s idea -- someone you admired who was present. For example, your mother may have said to you in a sweet way: “you are a dummy” when you were a little child. Or perhaps you experienced a frustrated boss at your first work place used this kind of language. At that time you were completely dependent on his opinion. He repeated the statement so many times that it became imprinted on you. Maybe it was him who was the dummy in his own reality, and he/she hung it around your neck because he loved you and needed you or wanted you close.
Emotional C-Os are the nuts and bolts of Emotional Intelligence Training. In the beginning, doing a C-O is difficult. But with a little practice, one can be finished in three minutes. Hover your mouse over the field labels in the C-O, for a quick explanation of what each one is. Once you understand the rules for doing one, it is best if you move through the C-O quickly. It’s an intuitive process, and if you spend too much time agonizing over the answers the essence gets lost. You will teach yourself to pick up emotions from the window intuitively by skimming. When you write about why you feel that emotion, (in the section labeled “Which of your thoughts or actions or other peoples' actions caused these emotions “) you will be logical. You will make sure that what you write truly connects with the emotion you chose. You won’t use the name of the emotion in what you write. In the ‘C-O Benefits’ section at the bottom, I will take care with the ‘New Insight Realizations’ and ‘Conclusions’ fields. I will be sure I don’t get them backwards. For instance, your realization could be ‘People who drink lots of water don’t get hungry so much’, and the conclusion might be ‘I should drink more water’. Simple!
In the section labeled “Ground the Conclusion with Immediate Physical Action”, you won’t take too much time. You will just choose a quick, unusual action to bring it all home into your body. But it has to be physical action which will strongly remind you of your conclusion at the C-O.
The last section involves writing down a short plan for your future. You have made a new insight realization and a conclusion based on your emotions. Now you write a short sentence on how you intend to behave in a much better way in the future.